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Nov. 3rd, 2013

raspberry

I'm back

I will start posting again. Just not tonight.

Sep. 13th, 2012

raspberry

Basic human need: to be heard

Nitro cries a lot. She doesn't want to go to bed. She always wants to come into our bed. I pick her up and console her and she's happy, but she cries and screams when I set her down in her crib. I say goodnight and close her door. She screams her head off. This goes on a few times. There's always something at the end that appeases her and she'll go quietly to bed.

Tonight she was screaming her head off and after the third time going in there, she was really howling. I don't get angry anymore. I could tell she was going to come up with something. This time she was indicating that something hurt. I laid her down and she was really howling, so I asked her if she hurt herself. She nodded and quieted down right away. I rubbed her hurt away and she turned over on her side and promptly went to sleep.
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Jun. 11th, 2012

raspberry

Life goes on

Got through the dance recitals (they went from 8pm to 11pm!). Kitten didn't make it to second one. I was about dead on Saturday - I literally couldn't stand, so I took a 3-hour nap with Nitro. Then I was feeling feverish all the rest of the day and into Sunday.

Sunday we had a barbecue and had a very nice relaxing time. It's sort of nice having the house nearly cleaned up all the time because of the house-selling. I know once we're not selling anymore, I won't feel that same urgency to tidy up and we'll go back to being a slobby house.

I've noticed that if I skip a day of showers, I'm nearly jumping out of my skin. Once I take a shower, the fires are extinguished and my skin is all calm (but still a bit itchy). I was wondering if I might be allergic to my perspiration and went googling it. I found cholinergic urticaria, which sounds just like what I have. So I went googling that and found some blogs and forums. There's one guy who blogged a ton of very interesting information about his bouts of cholinergic urticaria. And he discovered that it was related to visceral fat. Well, this all started when I got pregnant with Apple, and I can say that my diet has only gone downhill ever since. And given my mushroom-top figure, I can guess that I have plenty of visceral fat.

Last summer, my skin was so much better, but this year it's quite horrible. And now that I know about the visceral fat link, I can see that I've been on a junk-food binge for the last year. I think it's highly correlated with depression and stress in this case, but I'm feeling less stressed and less depressed. I know what to do: eat healthy and exercise. I can help my skin on an as-needed basis by taking cold showers to keep my temperature down. When my skin recovers, I would love to go swimming regularly, especially in the sea. If I weren't so afraid of bacteria, I would go now (well, once my knee is healed).

Jun. 5th, 2012

raspberry

week from hell - end of school year stuff

Apple had theater night tonight. I had been working on her costume (a black sheep) for at least a week now, but still was working up to the last minute to get it done. I ended up stapling stuff together for Monday's dress rehearsal, but a lot of the staples came out, so Apple was unhappy about her costume falling apart. I fixed it last night by sewing it together. I also had to fix some of the loops of yarn that came undone. I had to make her sheep ears. Then this morning I put her hair up in lots of loops. It miraculously stayed put all day. I left work early to make a quiche and pick up Apple from school. I got her dressed and painted her nose black. I don't know how much she resembled a sheep, but she was really cute. ETA to include photo:
Photobucket

The plays went well and Apple surprised us with how well she spoke and how she lead the others. In the end, it's really nice that they do theater night.

Tomorrow is danse rehearsal for both girls. Then Kitten has her swimming end-of-year ceremony. She has to dress up as a mermaid and I have to bring a cake. Who knows how long the thing is going to last. Hubby has to go to a all-parent meeting at the daycare in the evening.

Oh, and we have to clean up the house (which has gone to hell this week) to show it tomorrow. Oh, and I'm working tonight to make up for the early day I had today.

Thursday we get a break, then Friday and Saturday nights is dance recital. I've volunteered to help backstage on Saturday.

Oh, and Nitro is being Nitro, so I'm not sleeping well at night.

Oh, and Saturday I busted open my knee after falling on it with Nitro wrapped on me, so I had to get 3 stitches and I've been hobbling around to keep it straight. I waited a bit too long for the stitches (6+ hours) and the doctor didn't do a great job, so I'm going to have a pretty ugly scar. But that doesn't matter as long as my skin is ravaged by the red, itchy, oozing wounds everywhere.

I can rest after this weekend, no? Good news is that Kitten got into the English bilingual class!!!
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May. 24th, 2012

raspberry

Entrance exam at Haut Sartoux

Kitten took her entrance exam for primary school yesterday. This is what she said about it:

They didn't ask her to sing any songs
She had to draw a dog - mostly the head and a little bit of the body.
They asked her to draw a "bone", so she drew a bone - a line, a heart-shaped cap, another line to the starting side, and another heart-shaped cap. Then she realized that they had said "bow", so then she drew a bow - a circle, then a balloon out to each side.
They asked her to put different images of a story into chronological order.

I'm sure they did other things, but that's all we could get out of her.

Now we just have to wait until June...

Mar. 26th, 2012

raspberry

23 months

I stumbled upon a book by Aletha Solter, Helping Young Children Flourish. It was quite interesting and so I bought The Aware Baby and it is even more eye-opening. The main point of the book is that all children need to cry to relieve stress from everyday hurts. Our job is to hold them lovingly as they cry and rage.

So I've been trying this with my children and it's been working wonders. Happy is very loving lately. She of course still has lots of frustrations and thus throws lots of tantrums, but I just let her rage and she gets it out of her system.

It's also been helping a lot with Kitten. I really need to get Apple to cry, but it's going to take more work since I think she's learned to repress it.

Happy is talking more, but everything she says is very babyish and muddled.

We still have difficulties getting her to bed at night, but I notice that she usually gets to a point where she understands that she can't fight it and then she asks for something and peacefully goes to bed. Like tonight after putting her to bed and closing the door, she was screaming. Hubby went in to try to soothe her, but she only cried harder. Once I went back in there, she frantically said "caca!". Knowing that this was her "out", I agreed to take her to the potty. She went peepee and then calmly let me dress her and put her back to bed. Last night, after trantruming a bit, she finally asked for milk. I knew this was her "out", so I let her have some. She finished her bottle and then calmly allowed me to put her into bed.

I've been playing power-reversal games with her and she loves them. She tries to knock me over and I try to resist, but of course, she's too powerful for me and I end up falling on top of her.

She gives me lots of kisses. I'm not sure that the others did this. I'm not a very demonstrative person, so I sort of recoil from touch. But I think I've become more genuinely loving.

Happy does a lot of pretend play, something that neither if the others did much of. She plays a lot with dolls and takes care of them.
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Mar. 16th, 2012

raspberry

sensitive little things

I recently took out Apple's baby silverware that her aunt gave to her as a baby present. When I told her what it was, she started crying.

Later, I had to buy Kitten a set too because she wanted one, so she received it for Christmas. Kitten's set has a fork, spoon, and a knife while Apple's has only a fork and spoon. So I asked Apple if she wanted me to get her a set with a knife. She looked at the silverware and started crying. I tried to console her, but she said, "But I'm not sad, these are tears of joy. I'm just crying because I'm joyful."

God, kids kill me.
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Dec. 31st, 2011

raspberry

20 months

ooh, I'm getting very behind. Happy still doesn't say a lot:
au revoir
boop (for book) - this is so cute it kills me. It's usually accompanied by the ASL sign for it.
caca - all the time! She is definitely her father's daughter.
bateau - usually this means that she wants me to rock her and sing "bateau sur l'eau"
maman - of course, although she still calls her papa "maman" most of the time
chaud

well she's crying, so it's time to go get her...

Dec. 14th, 2011

raspberry

(no subject)

I suppose it's been a long time since I've posted. I rarely have two whole minutes of 'me' time to rub together.

I went to Tel Aviv for a week and it went pretty well. I had prepared some dinners for the family and laid out all of Apple's clothes for a week. I washed AND put away all of the clothes (this is a once-in-a-lifetime event). I had to put the girls at the Wednesday school care (there is no school on Wednesdays, but they do provide a day-care for parents who work) and so they missed their normal Wednesday activities.

I worked very long hours, so I didn't get to see much. I also really didn't feel comfortable walking around in the dark all by myself, so I just stuck to the hotel. My co-workers assured me that it was safe, but I don't think they were thinking about a foreign woman alone at night.

Happy didn't wake at night during my absence, but she sure did when I returned. It took a week for her to start sleeping through the night, but even that was only for 2 nights and now we're back to at least 1 waking where I bring her into our bed.

Kitten has a lot of hostility for me. She keeps yelling at me and telling me that things are my fault and she even kicked me in the tummy.

Apple is so sensitive. We unpacked the Christmas ornaments and were hanging them on the tree when she discovered a couple of personal ornaments. One was a gift from Hungary from a co-worker for when she was born. Another was a glittery cardboard snowman that she made a couple of years ago. As soon as she saw them and we told her what they were, she burst into racking sobs. She told me that she wasn't sad, and that she didn't know why she was crying. Then she pined away for her best friend who left for China last summer.

This is the second time she's had a break-down over this friend. The other time was when school began this fall. She was crying so hard and also worrying about another friend who was friends with this girl who left. She was saying, "What is M going to do? She'll be so lonely!"

Then I have Happy who tries to run into the street any chance she gets. Or she runs right for the stairs if there are any. Maybe she's like this because I don't give her ample opportunity to run around unimpeded. I did this a lot with the other two. I just spent a lot of time doing nothing and letting them run around (in safe, but boring places). I think I just don't have the time to do that anymore. Now my Wednesday are booked with activities for the girls and my weekends I'm running around on a tight schedule. I will have to take more care, but I'm just short on time.

Nov. 3rd, 2011

raspberry

18 months

Nitro still doesn't say much, but her favorite thing to say is "Happy". I don't know what it means, but I've been calling her that lately. Her signs are just as inconsistent and unintelligible as her words, although she has gotten "cheese" down. She's also good at saying "cookie".

She's not supposed to stand up on chairs, but she really likes pushing them around and trying to grab things out of reach. She just got done being scolded for getting on a chair to grab some chalk. Hubby was on his way upstairs when he heard her calling "papa! paaapaaa!". He went to see what she wanted and it turns out that she just wanted him to see that she was on the chair in reach of the chalk. She was laughing and had a mischievous look in her eyes.

Sleep has gone down the drain in the last month and we're back to having her in our bed. It's usually from around 3am, but since she's had a cold, it's been from bedtime. She's been kind of feverish and wants to be worn at all times. I don't really mind, but the housework is also out the window. Here she is feeling sickly:


Here we are on a better day in Cannes:
Photobucket

She's gone from trying to tear out pages in books to asking to be read to and listening very attentively to even rather long books. I'm feeling that I should get "Goodnight Moon", but when I gave it away, it was because I couldn't read that book even one more time. I don't know if I can do it again.

I love Happy so much. Every thing she does is cute and adorable. 18 months has gone so quickly, but it's hard to imagine that she hasn't been with us forever.

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